(Question) First-Siblings and Near-Siblings

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I was wondering what the protocol was for First-Siblings and Near-Siblings here in Tar Valon? I tried looking in the Library and the MM but I couldn't find anything.
 

Luna Morn

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As far as I know, there isn't one exactly. I do not believe those relationships are officially recognised by the Tower, unlike for example bonding. Technically speaking, the MM states that "relationships not officially recognized by TarValon.Net as familial relationships (such as e-spouses, near-siblings, etc) are not allowed in signatures." either, but I think that is due an update. :look:

It is up to your discretion.
 
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Thank you, Luna Sedai!!
 

Adina al'Mari

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They are not officially recognized, and never have been. Mostly because “we are not an Aiel website.” There have been some public ceremonies at events I’ve attended, just as we’ve had marriage too, so, special, but not official.
 

Yenie Antagar

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That's not entirely true though, you're allowed to put first siblings in signatures and they're also in the library.
 

Toral Delvar

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Near siblings are different - they were prohibited as people were listing many of them. First siblings exist in a grey zone - not officially recognized, but we have often found time for the ceremonies at official events
 

Elania al'Manir

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People have come up with alternative "relationships" to put in their sigs in the years since "near-sibling" was banned, so it seems kinda ineffective at this point.
 

Ahmyra al'Ruley

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I have several first siblings. These were all choices between them and I and we had those ceremonies (or lack there of when we couldnt manage to get together at an event) on our own time and put together by ourselves. They are not officially recognized in that we don’t need “permission” like in a Bonding. It’s not announced anywhere but our sigs and the library. However these relationships are just as special as a Bonding. They are not undertaken lightly and shouldn’t be used willy-nilly. At least that’s my understanding.
 
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Leala ni al'Dareis t'al'Caleum

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*watches Nadie's signature* :shifty

In all seriousness, if you're asking because you want a first-sibling, congratulations!
 

Alyria Ess

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I thought they were officially recognized initially and then de-officialized circa the 10 year mark? I seem to remember it was JUST first-sisters...

Not that this changes any of the correct answers given here, I am only asking from a site historical perspective
 

Faeril Munlear

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Yes, you are correct, Alyria!

Lyoness and I petitioned for ours, much like you do with bonding, and we had to do it in person/publically if we wanted it recognized. That was back in 2004. There were rogue ceremonies back then because they wanted to do them differently, and in a case or two, they wanted a first-sister/first-brother relationship. It was first-sister only back then. It wasn't much later that it was decided it did not fit with our structure and we weren't Aiel. I don't remember the exact year that happened.

Briefly, after that was announced, we weren't allowed to put it in our sigs either. Thankfully, we can now! and honestly, I think it's a good thing it's not official because then you can have the ceremony how you want/when you want/with who you want. No matter how you do it (or did it) though, it doesn't make your relationship with your sibling any less significant. <3
 

Elania al'Manir

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Yeah, the history is interesting.

I'm having problems finding anything about the origins in the library, so thank you to Faeril for the context that it started at least as early as 2004, although I'm guessing earlier? If someone could give even more context that would be great.

The "First Sister Ceremony" was first recorded in the library in October 2006.

The implications from late 2006 have First-Siblings being a very serious commitment where you have to petition the Amyrlin Seat, go through pre-bond counseling with a Gray, and the live ceremony is mandatory. At the time the linked article was written, there were only six pairs of first siblings. However, the 2006 Admin Meeting notes say that "we will limit the amount of first sibling ceremonies we preform at real life events (people are still welcome to perform these on their own if they want) due to time restrictions. Unless otherwise stated, we will honor the first three requests we get for any specific event," which suggests that it was a quickly growing pool.

As of the 2010 Admin Meeting, they were no longer officially recognized and the Tower no longer presides over or puts limits on first sibling recognition.
 
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Jahily al'Karee

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So glad we can opt out of the live ceremony or at least modify it because reasons.

+1 to this! :laugh:

I do wish first-siblings were recognized with a bit more weight like warder/bondmates. Siblings are special and important relationships, and not the same thing as bonding. (And echo'ing Ahmyra, not to be taken lightly!) Having the recognition in the Library and in sigs is great though, and gives us a way to celebrate.
 

Alora Sionn

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Plus in the 4th age who says that Aiel aren't in the tower or that the weaves weren't learned by tower folk
 
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