March- DID Awareness Day & Conversation

[Ananke Ruadh]

March 5th is Dissociative Identity Awareness Day in the United States.

This day is meant to spread awareness of the challenges and stigmas that those with DID deal with, and to hopefully foster some friendly discussions about this disorder. Over the next few weeks, we'll be posting more information about that this disorder looks like, and resources for further self-study and discussion.

What is D.I.D.?

D.I.D is a traumagenic disorder; Traumagenic: adj. describing or relating to the dynamics by which a traumatic event may have long-term negative consequences, including the development of a mental disorder; in similar fashion to PTSD and C-PTSD and other such conditions. Therefore, for the duration of these discussions, it may be helpful for you to consider D.I.D. as a more complex form of PTSD. However, unlike other forms of post-traumatic conditions, D.I.D. happens due to trauma that began in childhood.

This trauma most often includes neglect of the child's physical needs, parental figures' failure to respond to emotional needs, an unstable or unpredictable home environment, or sexual abuse. Other early and chronic traumatization can cause DID as well, like medical trauma involving multiple painful and prolonged procedures at an early age. DID is most prominent when traumas begin before the age of five, with most medical professionals agreeing that the trauma must occur before the age of ten.

How does it form?

Personal identity is still forming during childhood. So a child is more able than an adult to step outside of themselves and observe trauma as though it's happening to a different person. A child who learns to dissociate in order to endure a traumatic experience may use this coping mechanism in response to stressful situations throughout life into adulthood. While to some extent everyone experiences multiple ego states in childhood which later merge into a cohesive single identity; in those with DID, trauma interrupts that process and allows each ego state to form their own personality and identity over time.

Due to this trauma, the brain learns that dissociation and the splitting of extra personality parts; often called Alters or Alts; is a good way to keep the host body safe. These alters provide new perspectives and personalities better suited to taking over stressful situations than that of the traumatized host. As traumatic situations and environments resolve, the alters may decide to merge or fuse, lessening the amount of alts the system possesses. In this way, a system may expand or shrink over time as a system splits new alters or they combine and merge according to each system's needs.


How does it present?

Developing multiple identities is a coping mechanism that protects the child. It is the brain's way of keeping a vulnerable and traumatized child as safe as possible for as long as possible. It keeps trauma memories and the associated emotions contained within specific identities; often called Trauma Holders; so that they do not overwhelm the child. As a result, the child may believe that a traumatic event happened to a specific personality and not to them. This allows them to dissociate from the event and not have to deal with the fact that it happened. This is something that later therapy and help from mental health professionals can offer coping strategies for, when the system is ready.

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Our Graphics Team has graciously provided some visual ways for you to show your support this month as we dive deeper into this condition, and hopefully answer some of your questions along the way.

Spoiler: Signature

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Spoiler: Badge 1

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Spoiler: Badge 2

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[Leala ni al'Dareis t'al'Caleum]

I have to admit, this one was a difficult one for me to wrap my head around at first. It's still played off as a joke so often, not just in the media, but just casually in conversations.

Then, a friend of mine (I'll let them speak out, if they want) started dealing with it, and I still didn't know how to interact with it, or what to make of it. It took a lot of work with them, research on my part, and even some highlighted stories from strangers on podcasts for me to get a grasp on it. Before that, I definitely wanted to respect their experience, and now that I have my head wrapped around it a bit more, I try to advocate when I can, which isn't often, as it doesn't come up in conversations easily, but I still try.

One conversation I had with my friend that really helped was when I realized that I did something like this, but not quite to that level with compartmentalization, and creating characters for rps or stories that have their own struggles. I know it's not nearly the same, but it helped to relate my own experience to theirs, instead of just a big question mark over my head and smile and a nod.

Even with a lot of the stigma around mental health gone from conversations (not all, but a lot), DID and its related disorders is not as understood as most, so I'm really glad that we're having this conversation here.

 

[Ananke Ruadh]

I have to admit, this one was a difficult one for me to wrap my head around at first. It's still played off as a joke so often, not just in the media, but just casually in conversations.

Then, a friend of mine (I'll let them speak out, if they want) started dealing with it, and I still didn't know how to interact with it, or what to make of it. It took a lot of work with them, research on my part, and even some highlighted stories from strangers on podcasts for me to get a grasp on it. Before that, I definitely wanted to respect their experience, and now that I have my head wrapped around it a bit more, I try to advocate when I can, which isn't often, as it doesn't come up in conversations easily, but I still try.

One conversation I had with my friend that really helped was when I realized that I did something like this, but not quite to that level with compartmentalization, and creating characters for rps or stories that have their own struggles. I know it's not nearly the same, but it helped to relate my own experience to theirs, instead of just a big question mark over my head and smile and a nod.

Even with a lot of the stigma around mental health gone from conversations (not all, but a lot), DID and its related disorders is not as understood as most, so I'm really glad that we're having this conversation here.

As a joke, or as a reason to fear that someone you know may be a serial killer in waiting, yes. So much of modern media that deals with it either treats it as a joke; Me, Myself, and Irene; or as horrifying and uncontrollable; Split, Thr3e, etc. The SOA Team and I tried to come up with a decent movie on the subject, but too many were horror-themed, or were the stories of people later proven to be faking the disorder. Not exactly the sort of precedent we want to set.

There will be reference lists and a few books linked later this month to help with the subject, and I'm willing to offer a short Q&A if necessary; though of course, I am only one person, and mileage may vary widely. This is definitely not a "one size suits all" diagnosis.

In the meantime, if you like, you might look into Inner Family Systems. Even now, while trying to figure out my own precise diagnosis, my care team and I are using IFS to help put names to things that I haven't had words for until almost a year into my mental health journey. It's helped me see some patterns and explain how different parts of my system take on roles to communicate.

 

[Leala ni al'Dareis t'al'Caleum]

As a joke, or as a reason to fear that someone you know may be a serial killer in waiting, yes. So much of modern media that deals with it either treats it as a joke; Me, Myself, and Irene; or as horrifying and uncontrollable; Split, Thr3e, etc. The SOA Team and I tried to come up with a decent movie on the subject, but too many were horror-themed, or were the stories of people later proven to be faking the disorder. Not exactly the sort of precedent we want to set.

There will be reference lists and a few books linked later this month to help with the subject, and I'm willing to offer a short Q&A if necessary; though of course, I am only one person, and mileage may vary widely. This is definitely not a "one size suits all" diagnosis.

In the meantime, if you like, you might look into Inner Family Systems. Even now, while trying to figure out my own precise diagnosis, my care team and I are using IFS to help put names to things that I haven't had words for until almost a year into my mental health journey. It's helped me see some patterns and explain how different parts of my system take on roles to communicate.

Right, right. Then there are also older movies that were debunked that sensationalize it, like...I can't remember the whole title, but the titular character's name is Cybil, I think. I also get a whole new level of angry when killers try to blame their crimes on another "personality" now.

I'm glad to hear all that about the resources coming in, and also that you're looking into your mental health on a deeper level. I'll definitely be looking into Internal Family Systems. Just not right now. This pay check was...light.

 

[Ananke Ruadh]

Right, right. Then there are also older movies that were debunked that sensationalize it, like...I can't remember the whole title, but the titular character's name is Cybil, I think. I also get a whole new level of angry when killers try to blame their crimes on another "personality" now.

I'm glad to hear all that about the resources coming in, and also that you're looking into your mental health on a deeper level. I'll definitely be looking into Internal Family Systems. Just not right now. This pay check was...light.

I'll see if I can dig up some reputable links to current websites and leave the e-books for later

But yes, yes I am unfortunately familiar with that story. "Sybil" was really Shirley Mason, and she admitted after the furor and popularity of the book the movie is based on that she faked it all. Really not confidence inducing.

 

[Catt Heckathorne]

I have a type of DID called OSDD1. Some days it resembles true DID, other days it doesn't. The biggest thing to remember is that, like autism and other mental health disorders, DID is a spectrum and that while no two people will share the same experiences with it or the same symptoms with it (for example, my symptoms on a bad day are a delightful ( ) combination of ADHD and blood glucose physical symptoms without teh whackamole glucose changes), sometimes a diagnosis of DID is the major turning point in therapy when literally no other therapy methods work, and having the diagnosis, whether you fit it totally or not, is what insurance companies need in order to approve ongoing therapy and therapy methods. Additionally, DID can be either endogenic (typically, no identifiable trauma can be pinpointed) or traumagenic (identifiable trauma can be pinpointed), but typically it's considered more traumagenic. That being said, many DID communities welcome endo systems as well as trauma systems and do not believe that one is more valid than the other.

When I first was diagnosed I made a playlist of helpful videos on Youtube to help my professors and people here on TV.net understand it a little better. I'll share that here for anyone else interested!

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJk6L2ozJIDgRLoTlrxTQlCRMg-aHBN4O

And then there's a slightly more tongue in cheek version of that playlist that I made, because DID comedy can be pretty fun.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJk6L2ozJIDgVrvy2ldgx1jpQjd9Voxzj

Edit: While literature related to DID is very few and far between, we do have some that is less problematic. So far, my clear favorite is the Legion series by Brandon Sanderson.

 

[Ananke Ruadh]

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Week Two: System Mapping

Alters come in many shapes and sizes and perform many different roles within their System. Alters may be a person the mind creates; an Alter or Alt; a person from history or someone the system knows personally; often called Factives or Introjects; or a person or creature from fiction; often called a Fictive or Fictional Introject. Each variety is just as valid as another, and largely has to do with what sorts of dissociation the system experiences. A host who reads a lot of fantasy novels to dissociate from their surroundings may be more likely to experience fictional introjects than a host who writes their own stories. A host who reads biographies and fixates on a particular era of history may be more likely to experience factive introjects instead. Regardless of how they are created or implanted, each alter is just as valid as another.

The Alters the mind creates are most importantly what the host requires to feel safe; a Protector part; or a part that demands to be acknowledged by the system; an Emotional part or Otherwise Normal Part. In interacting with various alters and system-members, however they identify themselves, please be kind and affirming. They do not necessarily choose how they appear or from what media they may be drawn; and being reminded of events from the source material and ascribing those actions to the alter can be both damaging and triggering.

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For ease of reading, we have some commonly used system roles, and their functions! If you have any questions, please feel free to ask them.

The Host is the alter most commonly "Fronting" or piloting the body. Host alters are responsible for most aspects of daily life, though teams of fronter alters might divide up daily life into more manageable and specialized units such as socialization, academia, work, and taking care of the body. If the host has spent years unaware of the existence of other alters and the trauma that created them, the host might have an extremely hard time coming to accept their DID. This alter might be used to viewing themselves as the only entity in their body and will likely at least at first view themselves as the core. This may or may not be correct. According to the theory of structural dissociation, all hosts are apparently normal parts. (As DID is not the splintering of a personality into many but rather a multiple ego-state entity who never got to form a cohesive identity, the Host should not be referred to as a "core" or the "original personality" as it is simply inaccurate as far as the current science has discovered.)


Protectors are alters that protect the body, system, host, core, or other specific alters or groups of alters. Physical protectors might take or try to prevent physical abuse or become aggressive in an attempt to defend against physical abuse. Verbal protectors might take verbal abuse or lash back verbally in order to counter verbal abuse. Emotional protectors might take emotional abuse or comfort other alters to soften the effects of emotional abuse. Sexual protectors might take sexual abuse or attempt to instigate sexual abuse in an attempt to feel more in control of the situation. Caretaker alters are a unique type of protector that is focused specifically on taking care of younger, weaker, or more vulnerable alters or external children. Persecutors are another specific type of protector that are often not seen as such but that protect by harming the system themselves in order to avoid outside harm.


Introjects are alters that are based off of an outside person or figure. Introjects may or may not see themselves as the individual that they represent. Introjects can be based off a family member or adult caretaker who supported the dissociative child and provided a positive influence on their life, serving as a source of potential positive messages for the child to internalize. Unfortunately, introjects can also be of abusers. Abusive introjects, unlike more positive introjects, provide no comfort or moral compass for the system. Instead, they reenact trauma and abuse, sometimes reinforcing abusers’ lessons to prevent further abuse and sometimes serving as a permanent component of an internal flashback. Although less common, introjects can also be based off of historical or fictional figures that the dissociative child found strong, courageous, heroic, or otherwise worthy of being emulated and internalized. Introjects that are based off of media or fantasy characters are clinically and academically acknowledged and have been mentioned in sources such as "The Haunted Self" by van der Hart, Nijenhuis, and Steele.


Memory Holders are alters that hold memories that are usually traumatic in nature so that other alters do not have to be confronted by the memories. In some cases, memory holders might hold memories of childhood innocence or of being loved by the system’s otherwise abusive or neglectful family. In these latter cases, the memory holder might serve to preserve these memories untainted by memories of trauma or to avoid confronting the system with the pain of what the abuse has cost them. Memory holders are highly associated with abuse takers, alters that experience trauma so that other alters do not have to. Memories holders are the prototypical emotional part in structural dissociation.


A Fragment is an alter that is not fully differentiated or developed. Fragments may exist to carry out a single function or job, to hold a single memory or emotion, or to represent a single idea. Depending on the way that individual systems use the term, a fragment might be any alter that could not survive if left on its own or that could not pass for a fully developed individual without the help of other alters. Fragments usually have not been exposed to enough complex, different, or interactive experiences to incorporate more into their sense of self and so become more developed and differentiated. It is possible for fragments to develop into more elaborate alters if the need arises or with further use.


It is most commonly reported that a typical DID system will have between 2-10 alters, with men averaging 12, and women averaging 15. Systems can range between 2-100s of alters present in the same system, though anything above 100 is typically called polyfragmented as those alters do not tend to be fully defined, and are more likely to be fragments or only partially constructed of a single memory or impression. They may also be split off of "original" alters, or part of a complicated sub-system.

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It is important to remember that different systems have different needs, and systems may or may not have one or more alters for each of the above jobs. In smaller systems particularly; those systems with only 2 to less than 10 alters; alters might hold multiple roles, some of which may even at first seem contradictory. For example, an alter might be persecutory to the system yet strive to protect it from outsiders. Other alters might hold roles that are specific to the system and would be difficult to define or generalize according to commonly used terminology. Alters may hold unexpected roles, such as a child part handling finances or presenting in a persecutory manner. While fragments may be defined by their roles, other parts may be able to act in more complex and less reactive ways. The most well developed alters may be able to handle a wide variety of roles if this becomes necessary for the system's continued functioning, vs a fragment that only exists to remember to set an alarm, or take a specific medication. Finally, it should be remembered that an alter's roles can change over time, according to the needs of the system.

There are also sub-systems, wherein a single alter within the broader system may have their own alters that are linked to the individual and only the individual. There are a wide variety of reasons for this, the most common being further compartmentalization of traumatic memories and restricting access to those memories to avoid further traumatization or exacerbation of triggers.

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[It is also important to note that, due to the current most widely-accepted science, we are using "system" instead of "Person with DID" for these discussions as there is no "original identity" or "core alter." Each individual within the system, including the host, is an alter. This may not be true of other forms of dissociative disorders, but is widely accepted to be true of DID as an individual diagnosis. Certain systems may have other preferred language, preferred language may even change depending on the alter who is fronting, and that is their right. Please be kind to each other if offered a correction.]


For more research and personal education, please feel free to check out DID-Research.org's excellent glossary and their educational links. We will be discussing some of the myths and misconceptions next week, along with a list of further resources before offering a Q&A Session to wrap up the month, so please feel free to ask as we go.

 

[Leala ni al'Dareis t'al'Caleum]

I do have a question about Fragments. I don't mean this to be insensitive or to pry, but usually how often will a system front a fragment? And, as a friend of a system, is there something I should know about handling that interaction? I haven't interacted with all their alters, and I'm not sure I've interacted with any fragments, but if I do, I definitely don't want to cause any inadvertent damage.

If that's something that depends on the system, or something too sensitive to reveal out here, I completely get it. It's just something that I've wanted to ask since I've heard of that kind of alter, and just now got the words to form that question.

 

[Ananke Ruadh]

I do have a question about Fragments. I don't mean this to be insensitive or to pry, but usually how often will a system front a fragment? And, as a friend of a system, is there something I should know about handling that interaction? I haven't interacted with all their alters, and I'm not sure I've interacted with any fragments, but if I do, I definitely don't want to cause any inadvertent damage.

If that's something that depends on the system, or something too sensitive to reveal out here, I completely get it. It's just something that I've wanted to ask since I've heard of that kind of alter, and just now got the words to form that question.

That's a really good question so this might be a bit long of a response!

It's good to keep in mind that even the system might not know all of their alters. With how layered and complicated the mind can be, it's fairly simple for some to hide or just go unnoticed unless they're needed like sub-systems and alters with specific jobs. It's also helpful to remember that DID is meant to be a covert disorder; most actions taken by the System will be to protect the body as much as possible. Therefore it's going to push Alters forward who are most like the host, or who are capable of acting like the host, to form the impression of a single cohesive identity for the world to look at. So, generally speaking, unless it's a very stressful situation where other alters aren't available for some reason, it's unlikely for a Fragment to take the front/host spot.


Personally, I know that I have fragments handling subroutines and holding memories that I don't have access to. They're not really going to front unless something goes wrong and our usual hosts or front-facing alts can't for some reason. For us, it's a very hazy and dissociated experience from the other side- like talking underwater or trying to communicate through a really heavy curtain. They're only able to respond from one or two emotions, despite what the rest of us might think or feel about the situation; which can be difficult if emotions are already running high.

So just like with any other emotionally charged interaction, both parties should take a breath, consider the contributing factors, and operate from a place of compassion. Depending on what caused the fragment, it can be helpful to remember that if they are angry or depressed or operating from a "negative" emotion, they're most likely not responding to you specifically; just responding through the only emotions they have access to in order to communicate. If your glasses have red lenses, you're going to see things in shades of red. If the only emotion you have access to is anger, you're going to be processing everything through that emotion even if it's not relevant to the current situation.



If you give it some time and space, the situation will probably resolve itself when a more competent alter takes over again. They may not have the full context of the situation, but odds are if the system knows they are a system and has talked to you about DID things, they'd be open to information about what happened, and how it impacted you.

 

[Idine Espanyas]

Is there a certain feeling that will alert you to when an alter will take over? Are you aware when it is about to happen or does it happen randomly?

Are you open with people in your life about DID? How do people react if you have spoken with them about DID? Or do you mostly keep this to yourself? What are the common stigmas you still face?

 

[Nebka Galyn]

History: I was diagnosed with DID in my 20's (I'm in my 50's now) back when it was called Multiple Personality Disorder. So having dealt with this diagnosis for many, many years my system has had a lot of time to "figure things out" so to speak. But I thought I'd add my perspective to this conversation.

Is there a certain feeling that will alert you to when an alter will take over? Are you aware when it is about to happen or does it happen randomly?

3 members of my system are co-conscious (aware of the bodies movements, thoughts, interactions at the same time) most of the time. We function mostly as a whole cohesive unit. There are days though when for one reason or another one of the alters switches into full control mode. Before the switch happens (for me) there is quite a bit of mental disturbance (for lack of a better word), I'll be anxious, or overly emotional or something to that effect.

Back in the beginning of my diagnosis I struggled with A LOT of amnesia episodes, which is part of how the diagnosis was made. I struggle with that much less now, even when the alters that are not part of the co-conscious triangle front we have a bit of cloudy awareness. One of the three will still have access to the front, if that makes any sense.

So to answer your question in short form: I personally have some "symptoms" when a full switch could happen. Feelings of stress, anxiety, emotional upset tend to proceed a full switch.

Are you open with people in your life about DID? How do people react if you have spoken with them about DID? Or do you mostly keep this to yourself? What are the common stigmas you still face?

Because of the stigma that has surrounded this diagnosis from the beginning, I personally kept my DID a secret for most of my life. Only telling those I was particularly close to, those who would most likely be around me when a switch happened. I'm not even sure that all of my family know my diagnosis, and like I said I've had this diagnosis for DECADES. I'm becoming more open with others about having DID, and have started sharing it here as it seemed a place to spread awareness... but for the most part outside of here I won't be open about it unless there is a reason to share.

The main stigmas that I still face: people think we are "faking", people immediately think of the movie SPLIT and think I'm part serial killer, or people say things like "Oh... you're just moody and lack impulse control..."

These are my experiences and this diagnosis carries a WIDE spectrum of behaviors, symptoms, treatments and each person has a different way that their particular system works...

 

[Ananke Ruadh]

History: I was diagnosed with DID in my 20's (I'm in my 50's now) back when it was called Multiple Personality Disorder. So having dealt with this diagnosis for many, many years my system has had a lot of time to "figure things out" so to speak. But I thought I'd add my perspective to this conversation.

3 members of my system are co-conscious (aware of the bodies movements, thoughts, interactions at the same time) most of the time. We function mostly as a whole cohesive unit. There are days though when for one reason or another one of the alters switches into full control mode. Before the switch happens (for me) there is quite a bit of mental disturbance (for lack of a better word), I'll be anxious, or overly emotional or something to that effect.

Back in the beginning of my diagnosis I struggled with A LOT of amnesia episodes, which is part of how the diagnosis was made. I struggle with that much less now, even when the alters that are not part of the co-conscious triangle front we have a bit of cloudy awareness. One of the three will still have access to the front, if that makes any sense.

So to answer your question in short form: I personally have some "symptoms" when a full switch could happen. Feelings of stress, anxiety, emotional upset tend to proceed a full switch.

Because of the stigma that has surrounded this diagnosis from the beginning, I personally kept my DID a secret for most of my life. Only telling those I was particularly close to, those who would most likely be around me when a switch happened. I'm not even sure that all of my family know my diagnosis, and like I said I've had this diagnosis for DECADES. I'm becoming more open with others about having DID, and have started sharing it here as it seemed a place to spread awareness... but for the most part outside of here I won't be open about it unless there is a reason to share.

The main stigmas that I still face: people think we are "faking", people immediately think of the movie SPLIT and think I'm part serial killer, or people say things like "Oh... you're just moody and lack impulse control..."

These are my experiences and this diagnosis carries a WIDE spectrum of behaviors, symptoms, treatments and each person has a different way that their particular system works...

Firstly, thank you for trusting us with this information, Nebka. More voices who have had this experience directly are always welcome to the conversation! This definitely not a "one size fits all" sort of disorder, so thank you for that acknowledgement too. I am curious, if you are willing to share, how your system has grown and changed over the decades or how your communication has. I know when I was first feeling like I wasn't alone in my own head, therapists and help groups suggested journaling as a way to allow each part to have their own voice...

It probably would have worked better if the ADHD didn't mean I forget where I leave the darn thing. 😅

Is there a certain feeling that will alert you to when an alter will take over? Are you aware when it is about to happen or does it happen randomly?

Are you open with people in your life about DID? How do people react if you have spoken with them about DID? Or do you mostly keep this to yourself? What are the common stigmas you still face?

I hope you don't mind if I answer this too-

There are stirrings, sometimes, a sort of internal push to "get out of the driver's seat." But whatever kind of DID/OSDD I have; a concrete diagnosis can take upwards of seven years if you're even comfortable having it on the paperwork/insurance knowing; it's more like our Host forms a container, and all the other alts are the sort of goo that fills the container. Sometimes we're more like concrete, very individual with clear boundaries of self slotted next to each other, sometimes we're so "gooey" we can't tell who all is present because we're what we refer to as "blendy-mess." This typically is a result of high stress, being triggered into a panic state, or states of high emotion.

Because of the amnesia and issues I have turning short term memory into longterm memory; I am fairly open with those I consider family, and now I suppose with TVN as a whole. I didn't think it was fair of me to be undergoing this sort of mental struggle and not tell folk what to expect if I'm working with them; so at this point it's an "open secret" for anyone who isn't following along in the places where I post most on TVN.

In person, the only people I have told are those who I have been friends with for years... people I know have seen the cracks in the facade, so to speak, and who know that my "mercurial nature" isn't simply explained away by usual capriciousness or "quirky attitudes." It helps, too, that a few of us have recognizable verbal patterns or accents now that we're more comfortable being perceived. There was a definite period where even a hint of "hey I think you might have some kinda identity situation-" made us panic and burn notebooks, and delete social media profiles. It was definitely a secret from me for a long time, until quarantine hit and I couldn't just call it "my job face" or a "social mask" anymore.

One of my partners who pays very close attention to the way I speak will sometimes play a basic game of "Guess Who" with me to see who's fronting when we're blendy. It has never felt judgmental, and we're usually laughing by the end due to suspicions of who's fronting or a snarky comment giving someone away. It's definitely helped us be more aware of ourselves, and when we shift, and when who is fronting needs to take a break from the body.

The reason I keep it all so close to my chest is that unfortunately in some places it's very likely that with that DID diagnosis on your chart, a partner could use it to gain complete custody of children, you could lose housing rights, social networks- if a church group hears it and believes it, it's very likely you could face "exorcism" in certain parts of the States followed by either pretending it's 'healed' or quite likely being removed from fellowship. And that's if they take it seriously, instead of mocking you for wanting to be "trendy" since malingering DID is fairly common these days as some young people assume it's all role playing given the prevalence of certain fictive introjects from popular media. (MHA fandom has A LOT of them... as do quite a number of other high-volume fandoms.)

As a general rule though, even if I am absolutely certain someone is faking I will not "fakeclaim." 1: because it can harm actual systems who don't present "normally." 2: If they're faking for attention or other reasons and using a stigmatized disorder to do so, they probably have other very real problems that my poking holes in their coping strategy will not fix, and might make worse. or 3: they might be a system who doesn't know they're a system yet!

Many systems don't know, and won't know, for YEARS given how covert the disorder can be; especially early on. Children are more inclined to believe they have imaginary friends. Young adults assume that everyone hears characters in their heads; especially artistically inclined youths or hopeful authors. Adults, if they are not socially isolated or have access to resources, may finally take the step of finding therapy and figuring out if what they experience is "normal"- this is the route I took, almost step by step, and support groups on and offline have told me that I am not alone in that experience.

 

[Nebka Galyn]

I am curious, if you are willing to share, how your system has grown and changed over the decades or how your communication has. I know when I was first feeling like I wasn't alone in my own head, therapists and help groups suggested journaling as a way to allow each part to have their own voice...

Before the diagnosis, which for the record isn't on my charts anywhere , it was a one time somewhat accidental diagnosis by an ER Doctor that was treating an injury I didn't remember getting I went to the psychiatrist once, they told me it wasn't a real thing and suggested I should do some pretty intense therapy to figure out what was REALLY going on. Remember this was in the truly dark ages of MPD... it was seen as a satanic cult problem... was seen as hysterics, etc... After that I did do therapy but never fully disclosed the nature of my issues, got treated for other mental health issues and dealt with the DID on my own.

In the beginning I suffered with time loss and amnesia a good part of the time. Since I've been writing since I was a child, journaling was the best way to keep track of things and to discover who was who, the alters at the time were willing to introduce themselves through notes and poems and stories... so that's what we did.

As I said before there is a "trifecta" so to speak of alters that co-front 80% of the time. We all communicate mentally with each other, share memories, etc. The other alters that front will try to take full control but most of the time one of the trifecta can be a passenger watching what is happening, there are very few truly amnesiac moments at this point.

I've considered getting "official" treatment... but at this point we are a very functional unit and I really don't enjoy the thought of having to explain the history and relive all the trauma and issues that created the DID in the first place...

EVERYONE can feel free to ask me any other questions they may have, if they feel it is better discussed in private my DM's are open to everyone and if it's too personal of a question I'll let you know....

 

[Catt Heckathorne]

Is there a certain feeling that will alert you to when an alter will take over? Are you aware when it is about to happen or does it happen randomly?

Are you open with people in your life about DID? How do people react if you have spoken with them about DID? Or do you mostly keep this to yourself? What are the common stigmas you still face?

"Is there a certain feeling that will alert you to when an alter will take over? Are you aware when it is about to happen or does it happen randomly?"

My switchy feelings (we call them switches and the act of feeling one coming on is "feeling switchy" or "Sorry, I'm really switchy today") feel like a cross between when you're so tired you're zoning out and low blood sugar. Kinda like the "2 pm feeling" during a particularly taxing work day when you've just hit a mental wall of exhaustion. That can last anywhere from ten seconds to three hours to all day depending on the situation. Some days I have a specific headache that means I'm in a switchy mode, other times it happens without warning. Usually tho, I have a couple of rules: 1, no switching in public, and 2, no switching in a vehicle (I had to implement that rule because "no switching in a moving vehicle" still meant "Oh, so stopping at a red light is ok to switch, then?"). Quite often outwardly it looks like a migraine combined with low blood sugar, so I'll use the migraine excuse if necessary.

"Are you aware when it is about to happen or does it happen randomly?"

All the above. Again, it depends on the situation and it can often be hidden until it can't and then it looks like a meltdown from the effort from masking so hard.

"Are you open with people in your life about DID?"

It depends on the situation. If you're spending a lot of time around me and I can tell it's a weird day, I'll say it's a migraine day for me and I'm feeling weird from it, or if you're ok with mental health stuff I'll outright say it. Sometimes being open about it is the best way to prevent miscommunication over behavior.

"How do people react if you have spoken with them about DID?"

I've tried talking with my mom about it but it's been a challenge, and most people in my region (a community that is 80% Old Order Amish) are pretty old fashioned and are still in the "everyone has bad days, yours aren't special, get over it and suck it up" mindset of the early 2000s. Usually I start by asking the person what they know about dissociative disorders and then go from there.

"Or do you mostly keep this to yourself?"

Again, depends on the situation. Work doesn't get to know unless my therapy appointments happen regularly during work hours and then it's "Look, you need to let me go to these appointments because me going to them means I'll be more productive and miss less time at work due to mental illness flares!"

"What are the common stigmas you still face?"
I did a past life regression therapy this past summer that ended up somehow turning into an exorcism attempt because the person doing the regression guiding wasn't well versed in what DID is. I've also had people tell me that because of my career (death dula situation thing) that they're worried that I'm a prime candidate for a spirit possession because of how my brain is set up. I've also had people in the ADA community give me a hard time with it, like when I had to submit paperwork in triplicate plus get my academic advisor, the program director, AND my therapist involved to get accommodations for it but getting accommodations for a physical problem was just "eh, we'll do this and let us know if you need help." It happens, but being open about it and being willing to provide info about it means less miscommunication and more "Ok, this is a good way to handle it for future reference to help others with this situation."

 

[Ananke Ruadh]

Week Three: Stigma & Struggle, & Finding Help

As we get into week three; a few days late, sorry; I'd love to cover some of the more common stigmas and struggles that systems face to help give the "singlets" a better idea of what goes into having DID. The goal here is to step away from the clinical, and into the human element of this disorder. As with the past two weeks, if you have questions please ask; just remember to be kind and compassionate as you do.

Common Social Stigmas:

Rarity
The most common social stigma is that those with DID are incredibly rare, and therefore anyone claiming to have DID must be faking; or that by virtue of its "rarity" it doesn't exist at all.

In fact, DID is diagnosed in 1.5 of the global population, and affects up to 7%, based on how hard it is to get a diagnosis, how frequently it is misdiagnosed, and how many countries are lacking mental health systems to support their citizens and the prevalence of other traumagenic disorders and current rates of childhood trauma; especially if only one alter presents to a treatment provider and/or the provider never personally witnesses a switch.

It is important to remember that, despite it only being 1.5% of the global population, that this means DID affects some 117 MILLION people if we are being conservative with the numbers. In addition, there are studies that say nearly 50% of Americans will experience at least one depersonalization/derealization episode in their lives, while 2% meet the full criteria for dissociative disorders; which is the umbrella that covers DID & OSDD.

Therefore it is safe to say that despite a general statistical rarity, there is a very good chance that you personally know at least 1 person with DID, and probably know more with a dissociative disorder; whether or not it is officially diagnosed.


Those With DID Are Automatically Violent
This particular stigma is harder to disprove or argue, until you begin digging into the realities of the studies.

Most studies that have investigated the supposed correlation between DID and violence have very small sample sizes; the current most-quoted only investigated 21 instances of DID; and tend to conflate claims of dissociation and pleas of insanity with a professional diagnosis. For this reason, it is difficult to accurately gauge the statistical associations between DID and violence. However, when we look at the same sorts of studies while exchanging DID with PTSD; another umbrella under which dissociative identity disorder falls; the association diminishes significantly (except where the studies conflate PTSD with prior military service).

In reality, not only are those with DID no more likely to be violent than any other citizen, but they are more likely to be victims of violence. Due to its origins in childhood trauma, those with this disorder are far more likely to be re-traumatized and experience abuse from multiple throughout their lives.


DID Is A Personality Disorder
While DID was initially referred to as Multiple Personality Disorder, DID is not actually a personality disorder. Instead, DID has been categorized as a dissociative disorder in the DSM-5. Dissociative Disorders involve loss of contact with oneself, and usually begin in childhood; while personality disorders are categorized by fixed patterns of personality traits that inhibit your ability to live a stable, average life.


Those With DID Are Schizophrenic
This misconception is caused by focusing on a few symptoms, rather than the entirety of symptoms that make up a DID diagnosis. DID refers to a condition wherein multiple personalities; alters; coexist and shift within one mind and body. Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder in which one person experiences delusions and hallucinations that range a spectrum of severity.


DID Is Just Like How Media Portrays
In reality, DID movies such as the 2017 Split, or the 1970s Sybil, may get some things about this disorder correct, but they also over-dramatize and stereotype for the sake of storytelling. They tend to exaggerate symptoms, and in many cases, show fictional symptoms instead of sticking to the facts. In particular, switching between alters does not tend to be nearly so frequent nor as dramatic as is portrayed in popular media, and in most cases is either incredibly subtle, or entirely covert.

In addition, popular media portrayals of DID creates further stigma; the negative stereotypes and associations of DID with violent homicidal behavior may discourage many living with this condition from getting help.


DID Is Always Obvious
Researchers have found that the average System will receive up to 4 incorrect diagnoses before being accurately diagnosed with DID. A personal may spend as many as twelve years in the mental health system before the correct diagnosis is at last given, and that's if they do not give up out of hopelessness or despair.

There are many contributing factors to this problem. First, most with with DID do not seek help for the disorder, fearing social stigma and loss of personal safety. A system is also more likely to seek help for the symptoms that disrupt their ability to function in daily life; like mood dysregulation, fatigue, or bouts of memory loss. In some cases, they may also be seeking treatment for trauma or PTSD and be unaware of their alters. Misdiagnosis can also be due to difficulty of distinguishing signs of DID, especially in telehealth or outpatient facilities.


Unfortunately, unless a mental health professional personally witnesses a shift and understands what they are seeing, it is unlikely that their first response will be "Ah yes, you have DID." Even within the Mental Health community, there are misconceptions about dissociative identity disorder. This misinformation inhibits the diagnostic process as not all professionals will be familiar with the disorder and its symptoms. Further, despite evidence asserting its validity, some providers may still not believe that a dissociative identity disorder diagnosis is valid.


Common Struggles:

Anxiety & Depression
Anxiety is incredibly common with DID. The association symptoms of PTSD and the amnesia and memory gaps association with dissociation can cause a deep and lasting anxious state. Over time this can deepen the depression associated with PTSD, especially when paired with a lack of access to support networks or professional care.


Disordered Eating & Body Dysmorphia
Due to switches between alters and their various forms; differences in height, weight, gender & sex, coloration, and even species; can cause significant levels of distress that a system will try to control via eating disorders, over-exercising, and without help this can lead to self harm.


Memory Gaps, Suicidal Ideation, & Self Harm
With Amnesia and issues with short term memory becoming long term memory being a significant symptom of DID, a system can fall into a deep enough state of depression and derealization/depersonalization that their life and their physical bodies no longer feel real. Due to the distress of these experiences, many systems engage in extreme behavior in an attempt to feel anything at all.

Self-destructive behavior can be anything from thrill seeking, to substance misuse, to self harm due to the feedback loop of derealization & depersonalization to increasing measures of sensory-seeking behavior, and finally self-harm.

Due to this feedback loop, the rates of suicidal ideation and physical self-harm are common struggles amongst those with DID.


Supporting Those Living With DID:


Continue Learning About DID
One of the best ways to support someone else's struggle with DID is to learn more about the condition. We thank you sincerely for following along in this month's focus and for engaging in the conversation! We will continue to post resources and educational posts for the remainder of this month, and you can always DM us for further information here, or on Discord!


Listen & Offer Support
If you know someone with DID, please talk to them. Let them know you are open to listening to their experiences and struggles as you are comfortable and they are willing to discuss things. You don't need to solve their problems, just simply listen. Help them create a support network within your social circles where possible, and help direct them to professional sources where you can.


Meet Them Where They Are
It can be confusing to interact with someone in a dissociative state. While the signs can be subtle, those with DID may appear distant, frightened, disengaged, or "Spacey." If you notice these behaviors, please remain calm and remember that this is a safety mechanism for systems and remind them of the train of conversation when they come back around.

Please listen when they tell you about the ways that they are best supported in their dissociative states, and be supportive when it comes to condition management.


Help Prevent Triggers
Triggers are external stimuli that cause feelings of distress, and intense upset. Potential triggers are limitless and highly individual to the trauma that a system has undergone.

For DID; as with PTSD; triggers provoke flashbacks with dissociation. You can learn about your loved ones'; or your own; triggers by asking directly and by observation. With this information provided, you may help your self or your loved one prevent distressing situations.


Address Self Harm and Suicidal Ideation
If you, or someone you know about, are hurting themselves or struggling, it is urgent that help is received.

The National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available at 988 in the United States
Australia:131114
Canada: 1 (833) 456-4566
Denmark: 4570201201
Finland: 010195202
France: 0145394000
Germany: 08001110111
Holland: 09000767
Ireland: +4408457909090
Israel: 1201
Italy: 800860022
Netherlands: 900 0113
New Zealand/Aotearoa: 1737
United Kingdom: 0800 689 5652

Further Help & Numbers Available Here

 

[Catt Heckathorne]

So, we've been talking about the serious side of DID this month. Here's something that's definitely a lesser known system Thing!

View this content on Instagram

View this content on Instagram

View: https://www.instagram.com/p/CT5O3gKJp0j/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

 

[Yersinia al'Mycel]

Thank you to everyone contributing to this thread with your personal experiences. As the child of a person with DID/system, hearing different stories is very helpful for me in understanding this parent's experience. There's a lot of emotions mixed up with their diagnosis, so the more I know, the easier it is to untangle. I just really appreciate the openness and honesty.

 

[Ananke Ruadh]

Thank you to everyone contributing to this thread with your personal experiences. As the child of a person with DID/system, hearing different stories is very helpful for me in understanding this parent's experience. There's a lot of emotions mixed up with their diagnosis, so the more I know, the easier it is to untangle. I just really appreciate the openness and honesty.

We're just glad it's having an impact and that it is helpful for you! If you have questions or wish to discuss this further, our inbox is always open, here and on discord.

 

[Idine Espanyas]

Thank you to everyone contributing to this thread with your personal experiences. As the child of a person with DID/system, hearing different stories is very helpful for me in understanding this parent's experience. There's a lot of emotions mixed up with their diagnosis, so the more I know, the easier it is to untangle. I just really appreciate the openness and honesty.

This has been a great discussion and I’m learning a lot. Thank you for your openness, Ananke, Cattrin, and Nebka.

 

[Catt Heckathorne]

This is definitely a disorder where openness about dealing with it is an appropriate policy where and when possible. That definitely, definitely helps others understand why something might be off, etc. I'm glad that being able to do this has been an option and that the conversation has been helpful to others!