December – Simply COEXIST

Kenulin Falolin

Citizen
Joined
Oct 16, 2022
Messages
26
Pronouns
  1. She - Her
Discord
carrotflower #7661
Hi all! I'm here to post a summary about Judaism. First though, I want to address one thing that may give you insight on actual coexistence, from the perspective of a minority group member:



So I totally respect all that was said above at a general level (okay, okay, truth? I don't actually respect it, as you'll soon see, though I do respect the person who said it and simply believe they aren't aware of the context inherent in the statement that I'm about to dive the hell into). This isn't me calling anyone out, but I'm going to answer to this line specifically, as honestly as I can. And you may not like what I have to say.

December isn't a special time of the year for Jews. December isn't part of the Jewish calendar. Sometimes Chanukah is in November instead. We go by our own lunar calendar and that dictates when it takes place. And in any case, the majority of Jewish people, when asked about the most important Jewish holidays, probably wouldn't list Chanukah in the top three or four (unless they're 100% secular and never learned about the other holidays, and just know about Chanukah from what non-Jews know and assume about it).

Chanukah may be fifth or sixth most important. Much more important are Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, and Pesach (Passover). And I would personally list Simchat Torah and Tisha b'Av before I'd ever get around to Chanukah after all that. One might also argue Shabbat is more important than Chanukah, and Shabbat happens every week. Possibly Shabbat is more important than everything except Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. And I'd consider Purim before Chanukah as well, simply because Purim is the best holiday ever. There are no disagreements allowed on this objective fact based completely on my extreme happiness every Purim during childhood, as well as the amazing Purim parties I've been to over the years as an adult. So yeah, I'd say Chanukah is about the ninth most important holiday on the Jewish calendar.

Let's be clear: December is a special time of the year for the 'entire world'—more western civilization than anything else—because Christmas happens then and Christianity is the mainstream religion across western civilization. And so many people have no idea that some of us couldn't give a **** about it. In Israel, where I live, the post offices and banks are open on 25 December. That's all it is, except for the Christians living in Israel, who make up about 2% of our population. This year, it will just be another Sunday, which is a workday in Israel. I could go out and associate with a hundred people and not one would mention Christmas, and the majority wouldn't even remember it was happening that day.

You could ask all 7 million Jewish Israelis individually and you won't find a single one who would agree with you that December/winter time is a holiday season. The holiday seasons are in spring and fall. Obviously!

I'd sincerely like you to consider all this when you think about telling anyone you're not 100% certain celebrates Christmas "happy holidays" as you speak with them during the Christmas season. To be frank, I'd rather be told Merry Christmas because at least then it's honest about not actually being inclusive, rather than the aggressively shiny faux-inclusivity of "Happy Holidays", which no one should be able to object to, right? Right??

What you're doing there is pushing your own observance onto someone who may not find it relevant, which is deeply othering and tiresome, especially because we're usually not allowed to call people out on this. Because that's being a 'grinch' etc. That's robbing people of happiness and cheer. What a downer. Why wouldn't we want more happiness and cheer in our lives, after all?

Because that happiness and cheer doesn't actually see us. It sees assumptions of who we are and what we want. Some Jews may have a great time during the Christmas season, especially if they're more secular. None of us speak for the others. But what I do know, and what I've seen in Jewish spaces, is the acknowledgement that we truly aren't allowed to provide our honest perspective on this without giving offense. So I'm risking offense and saying it anyway, because it's important to me that it be seen, even if you ignore it after.

Here's a story I don't often share outside of Jewish spaces: When I was in high school, I asked my mom why everyone around us celebrates this Christmas holiday and expects us to be included, when the very nature of Judaism is that we're different and separate in our observance. And we don't actually want to be like anyone else, when we're already ourselves, which is awesome, in every sense of the concept. And when Chanukah is based on a war fought specifically to protest against the forced assimilation of Jews into Greek/Seleucid society. Our people fought a war and died and suffered to give us the right to protect our observations and reject others' religious and social practices. That's what Chanukah is about: refusing to assimilate with mainstream religious or secular observance.

The miracle of the eight days of light are from Jews searching the holy temple after the Greek army had smashed every single pot of oil, specifically so Jews couldn't light the daily menorah that showcased the day of the week during prayers. There were seven branches, one for each day. It took about a week to process more olive oil from scratch. Finally, in a remote part of the temple, they found a tiny bottle with enough sealed oil left to light the menorah for one day. And by a miracle, that light lasted eight days instead: just enough time to process more olive oil and light the menorah as needed every day thereafter.

The story told about dreidels, possibly apocryphal, is that the Greeks would patrol through the Jewish areas and try to catch them studying Torah so they could be punished. They would rush to hide their scrolls and start spinning the dreidel instead. All they were doing was playing a harmless gambling game; nothing to see here. (And y'all: I can make bank at dreidel. I taught my non-Jewish schoolmates in elementary school and earned allllll the stickers and erasers from them, to the point where my teacher reported it to my mother as a concern, and my mother was not at all concerned).

Anyway. My mother. I asked her why everyone expects us to celebrate with them when we don't celebrate that holiday, and when Chanukah is pretty irrelevant to them and only a minor holiday to us that everyone inflates into a huge frickin deal, because (again) Christmas and the misguided wish to be inclusive in ways that aren't actually inclusive, when it comes right down to it.

My mother told me: "Suzanne. You need to give the Christians their Christmas season. Just give up on it. They get sick if you don't let them have their Christmas season exactly as they want it, or if you question the celebration in any way, or their wish to include you in it, or the inappropriateness of it, or the hypocrisy of it. They literally become ill and dejected and so sad and desperate for us to join them, to prove how much they're including us. Just resign yourself that it'll always be this way and there's not anything we can do about it."

Except there was. I moved to Israel over a decade later, though this certainly wasn't the only reason, or even a major one. But it was one of them. Problem solved, for the most part. Except we still have the internets. And now Christmas is eeeeverywhere. And I'm gonna let you have it. But I'm not going to resign myself that there's nothing I can do about it. It's a different world from the 1990s when I asked my mother this question. Maybe some people will actually listen now. Maybe others will be offended. I'm okay with either because I really don't care. :)

So! Judaism, son. Let's talk about it. :D

In general, Jewish people are raised to question things and to speak up on things decisively. Every week on Shabbat, we hear d'varei torah. A d'var torah is a biblical-based lecture—a Jewish sermon of sorts—on the week's torah portion or haftara portion. The haftara is the part of the (Jewish) bible that isn't the five books of Moses. So we're talking Prophets, Judges, etc. Every week we have a torah portion and a haftara portion. Every year at Simchat Torah, we conclude the annual cycle and start the whole thing over again. The torah part goes in order, from Genesis to Deuteronomy. The haftara part jumps around, often matching a suitable passage with the corresponding torah portion, thematically.

My own bat mitzvah had the Deuteronomy portion where the sh'ma was recited, which is one of our most important prayers: "Hear O Israel: The Lord is our God. The Lord is one." It's supposed to be the last thing we say before we die. There's a lot I could say about that prayer but I'll leave that for another time (feel free to ask). And my haftara portion was in Isaiah, and I still have it mostly memorized and can chant the Hebrew at the drop of a hat, complete with accurate tropes (musical notations).

Anyway. Anyway. Every Shabbat, we hear at least one d'var torah. Often many. This is something we may hear from a rabbi or another congregational leader, but anyone can give a d'var torah. I've given them. It's very popular for young teenagers who've just had their bar or bat mitzvah to give them. They give their first at their bar/bat mitzvah and thereafter they're part of the Jewish community as an adult who can read from the torah and give d'varei torah at any time, with authority and confidence. They're encouraged to think on the passage and write the speech themselves.

Think about what the torah portion is saying. What the rabbis say about it. What other rabbis say about it, disagreeing with the first. Find the questions. Disagree with all the rabbis. Figure out what YOU believe. Discuss. See what others think after you give your d'var torah. Question them. Let them question you. See who really understands the text at a deep level. Discover what else you need to learn to give the best d'var torah possible and raise the best questions and really motivate people to think and to understand.

Let Torah guide you and inspire you in every particular of your life. It's all relevant. There's always a parallel to be found. We are taught that the Torah has everything in it, from every moment of time, and one must only look to find the relevance. And then you talk about it. You support what you believe. You see what others believe.

Belief should not be blind faith. You should know. You should question. You should search until you've seen all the angles, year after year of examining the same portion, the same commentary, always coming into it with fresh eyes and new twists to explain to your family, to your congregation, to anyone who will listen.

There's always more discussion to be had. More examination. Another year of the cycle when this portion comes around again. A new d'var torah to write, and many new ones to listen to. A new perspective. A new way to see this passage and how it brings impact to your life and to the world. That is what is valuable in Judaism: ideas and understanding and how it all relates to Torah learning. Is it any wonder our people have become one of the most educated and lauded minority groups on the planet (when we're not being targeted and hated, which is its own bushel of conversations)? We are taught from a young age that we must listen and learn and question and debate. We must analyze. We must draw correlations. We must argue if we are to find the truth as we understand it. It's the basis of our culture.

I'm sure people were expecting me to speak more about ritualized holiday practices and all the superficial things that are observable to the outsider. But I'm not going to do that in this post. I'm telling you what's important to me in Judaism, and what Judaism is actually about at a deeply rooted level. It's about knowledge and history and struggle. It's about never being satisfied you have all the answers. It's about always trying to find a new angle to an old and holy story.

It's about life and the blueprint for living. It's about speaking up and it's about listening and it's about striving always to learn more, and more, and more. Because that is what gets you closer to the divine. Everything else is details and debatable and based on personal traditions of families and denominations and ethnic origins. But I can't think of a single religious sect in Judaism, a single denomination or ethnic origin, where the above description is not incredibly relevant.

Feel free to speak up if you disagree with me, but come ready to share your own perspective and to defend it. That's what we're all here for.

-------
Want to discuss Judaism more after December 15th? Visit "Ask a Jew" [https://www.tarvalon.net/index.php?threads/ask-a-jew.45542/] in the Spirituality & Religion forum for in-depth discussion and additional questions.

Contact your usergroup admin [https://www.tarvalon.net/index.php?threads/list-of-official-emails.52245/] for opt-in access to this forum.
Thank you so much for writing this! Your explanation helped put words to why Happy Holidays never sat well with me. People are just wishing me Merry Christmas with different words, so I'd be more comfortable if they were honest and said Merry Christmas instead of Happy holidays, even if it's not related to what I believe.
 
Last edited:

Nymala Ingasy

Glitter Guardian
Aes Sedai
Head of the Blue Ajah
Joined
Jun 7, 2010
Messages
38,541
Location
Aotearoa
Pronouns
  1. She - Her
Discord
Nymala#4228
Thank you so much for writing this! Your explanation helped put words to why Happy Holidays never sat well with me. You're just wishing me Merry Christmas with different words, so just be honest and say Merry Christmas!

That is not at all what she's saying. You....do understand that not everyone celebrates Xmas right....?
 

Kenulin Falolin

Citizen
Joined
Oct 16, 2022
Messages
26
Pronouns
  1. She - Her
Discord
carrotflower #7661
That is not at all what she's saying. You....do understand that not everyone celebrates Xmas right....?
Oops sorry I just realized my wording was really confusing; I switched perspectives halfway through. The "you" in my third sentence is the person who celebrates Christmas who is wishing me happy holidays. I'm expressing that Happy Holidays doesn't sit right with me because, like Sela said, it's "aggressively shiny faux-inclusivity." So if someone is wishing me Happy Holidays, there's an implied Christmas association despite their attempt to be inclusive. Sorry for the confusion there!!

I edited my original post.
 

Alexr al'Petros

The Bridge
Gaidin
Headteacher
Joined
Jun 1, 2021
Messages
7,916
Location
Utah
Pronouns
  1. He - Him
Discord
Alexr#4384
We started December with the goal to educate, inform, discuss with, and inspire our TVN community about the broader perspectives that exist globally. The first step in being tolerant of one another is knowing more about each other. We used probably the most recognizable call for tolerance, the COEXIST bumper sticker. Although not represented in the COEXIST, we also want to highlight two more important yet unrelated Eastern traditions.

Hinduism

Hinduism is a religion or way of life by which followers abide. As a religion, it is the world's third-largest, with over 1.2–1.35 billion followers, or 15–16% of the global population. It has many varieties, sects, and organizations. Hinduism has been called the oldest religion in the world. Hinduism is a diverse system marked by a range of philosophies and shared concepts, rituals, cosmological systems, pilgrimage sites, and shared textual sources that discuss theology, metaphysics, mythology, Vedic rituals, and temple building, among other topics. Prominent themes in Hindu beliefs include the four proper goals or aims of human life life; namely, dharma(ethics/duties), artha (prosperity/work), kama (desires/passions), and moksha (liberation/freedom from the passions and the cycle of death and rebirth). Hinduism encourages the ethical values, such as honesty, refraining from injuring living beings, patience, forbearance, self-restraint, virtue, and compassion, among others. Hindu practices include worship, fire rituals, recitations, devotion, chanting, meditation, sacrifice, charity, selfless service, homage to one's ancestors, family-oriented rites of passage, annual festivals, and occasional pilgrimages. (This information was gathered from the following History source. https://www.history.com/topics/religion/hinduism#:~:text=Hinduism%20is%20the%20world's%20oldest,world's%20Hindus%20live%20in%20India.).

This is a link to a fantastic TVN thread discussing Hinduism, please ask any questions or continue the discussion there.


Buddhism

The Eastern tradition of Buddhism is another Indian religion or philosophical tradition based on teachings attributed to Gautama Buddha. Originating in ancient India between the 6th and 4th centuries BCE, Buddhism gradually spread throughout much of Asia via the Silk Road. Presently, it is the world's fourth-largest religion, with over 520 million followers (Buddhists). Buddhism encompasses a variety of traditions, beliefs, and spiritual practices that are largely based on the Buddha's teachings and their resulting interpreted philosophies. As expressed in the "Four Noble Truths" of the Buddha, the goal of Buddhism is to overcome the suffering caused by desire and ignorance of reality's true nature, including impermanence and non-self. Most Buddhist traditions emphasize transcending the individual self through the attainment of nirvāṇa (lit. 'quenching') or by following the path of Buddhahood, thus ending a person’s cycle of death and rebirth. Buddhist schools vary in their interpretation of the paths to this liberation as well as the relative importance and canonicity assigned to various Buddhist texts, and their specific teachings and practices. Widely observed practices include: meditation; observance of moral precepts; monasticism; "taking refuge" in the Buddha, the dharma, and the saṅgha; and the cultivation of perfections or moral behaviors. (This information was gathered from the following Britannica source. https://www.britannica.com/topic/Buddhism.).

(Writer's note: As some of you may know from the Zazen (Meditation) thread, for over 25 years, I have been a practicing secular Buddhist. I'm happy to discuss this more fully or answer questions at the Zazen thread. Or you can participate in our weekly (M, W, F at 8pm MDT) meditations on TVN Discord and we can explore questions there.).

********

Together we can widen our views, deepen our respect, and nurture tolerance for the many various religions and philosophies. (Also in the near-future, we want to have a discussion of how to change our language, thinking, and behavior so that all diverse perspectives are welcomed.).
 

Polegnyn Nemeara

Aes Sedai
Joined
May 6, 2014
Messages
10,567
Location
Kansas, USA
Pronouns
  1. She - Her
The Servant of All Team would like to thank everyone who took time out of their busy schedule to summarize topics that are way more extensive than was posted so succinctly. Hopefully everyone learned something new, and can either add something to their every day practice or feel more comfortable discussing the topic with others. Be sure to request access to the opt-in Spirituality and Religion forum if you have further questions!

Was a religious tradition or worldview you would like to see summarized and discussed not included in December's focus? Contact the Servant of All Team so we can bring this topic back in the future :)
 

Lyndo Shiranui

Aes Sedai
Joined
Apr 25, 2019
Messages
6,130
Age
28
Location
Istanbul, Turkey
Pronouns
  1. He - Him
Discord
Gildor Inglorion#6104
Thank you for giving us this opportunity! :love
 

Ananke Ruadh

Formerly known as Ananke Zaresh
Joined
Dec 16, 2021
Messages
1,260
Pronouns
  1. They - Them
Thanks everyone for the write-ups and the in-depth perspectives on your beliefs; or lack thereof. I appreciate the opportunity to get to know you all better in the future!
 
Top