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Okay that makes sense. I guess I just don't want to believe she is gone so only focused on the things that made it seem that way, only seeing what I want to see haha

Very late respone, but I had exactly the same thought! I still haven't reached a point where she comes back (im on book 9), but I'm sure she will?? Because we saw Mat go into the ter'angreal in Rhuidean, and both Mat and Rand did with the one in Tear. So why would Rand assume that she was dead...